I always want the immediate answer to prayer, the immediate healing, the immediate deliverance. We read the gospels and see Jesus healing and it happens instantly. But the thing is, some of those people had suffered for years, even decades. And that’s what it’s like. Jesus saves, moves the mountain, lifts the burden, delivers, heals, restores, just like that. In a word, in an instant, without effort, it’s just made right. But we have to do the going through to get there.
I struggle with thankfulness for the going through. I can do it some, but when it drags on, when you got your hopes up and then it seems they were dashed to pieces, as the wait gets long, it gets harder.
And then there’s watching your kids suffer through their personal hardships: physical disabilities, mental disabilities, emotional disabilities…and you can’t save them. You may try. You may try hard. But you can’t. You can treat symptoms, patch things up, distract, but the immediate, complete freedom can only come from the Lord.
Prayer and praise are our best weapons in our battles. Prayer and thanksgiving are our best tools for letting God be our Savior.
We can ask God to strengthen our prayer life, the hands are that too tired to lift to Him and the knees that are too weak to hold us up. When the days to turn months turn to years or when the battles keep coming one after the other, we need His strength to keep praying and rejoicing.
Read the sister post on “Life in Christ – Christ in Me“
After almost three years, I’m finally allowing myself to settle in. We’ve stopped looking at homes. We found one I loved, but without feeling the Lord sending us there, we can’t move. That’s not the way we live. We can’t bring ourselves just to find a home we like and live in it. We need to go on purpose, and our purposes aren’t enough to live for. So, we stay where we’ve been put. We never would have chosen to be here. I have to admit that whenever something is brought up about living/teaching/serving in another country, my heart leaps a little with hope that maybe the Lord will send us here. For us, staying is harder than going. Although, maybe deep down I actually have a fear that if I allow myself to get comfortable here, I’ll just get uprooted again. I have said many times that the Lord doesn’t let me stay comfortable. It’s His grace and not something I need to fear, and maybe that season is over. I certainly don’t know the Lord’s plans. So here are two evidences of my settling in. This past month we bought a few things from what I refer to as the “magical middle aisles of Aldi.” If you have an Aldi, you’ll know what I mean. About $250 later, I have a gazebo tent, a picnic table, a glider chair for two, and a greenhouse. But more than that, I have a symbol of my acceptance of where the Lord has placed me.
I’ve been scolding myself for waiting for life to begin. We’ve been in transition, but it’s been two and a half years now. The years are falling away, while I wait instead of act. I’ve avoided getting involved too much, developing relationships too deep, taking on responsibility too important, because we might be leaving.
And I’ve lost opportunities to bless others, to be blessed by them. I’ve waited on doing projects with the kids, starting traditions, learning new things, because I keep saying we’ll do them once we have a house.
There were times I jumped at opportunities, the feeling that I should do something. There was the time we skipped Christmas and instead invited a homeless woman to dinner. She ended up staying three weeks. There was the time I felt we should go share the gospel with prostitutes. There waiting was a widow I had just recently met and delivered clothes to where she lived in the trash dump. We ended up helping her get work and a real home and stayed in contact with her when we left the country. What experiences from moments of acting on the feeling that I should do something instead of letting the moments pass!
Read the sister post on – Life in Christ – Christ in Me